Confidence

It’s been a whirlwind of weeks lately. On top of the steep learning curve I have been on reading everything I can about brain development and vision problems, we’ve also celebrated my sister’s wedding to a wonderful man. The union took place in Maui, Hawaii with most of his very large extended family in attendance. Now, you might be wondering how being in Hawaii with a lot of unfamiliar people plays into Kathryn’s vision development. Oh but it does.

The first weekend after Kathryn started wearing her prism glasses I was lucky enough to be able to spend a lot of time with her. Mostly just regular weekend stuff running to and fro in the minivan, but it gave me a chance to really listen to what she was saying. And she was really into puns and jokes. Ones that actually had a hint of humor in them. You see, Kathryn like any other developing child at some point “gets” jokes are supposed to be funny. They set it up and deliver a fail of a punch line. And in order to avoid pointing out failure, a good parent goes along with the joke and chuckles, “That’s a good one!” Somewhere along the developmental timeline the relationship between the set up and the punch line becomes cognizant and humor is developed.

Additionally, a child begins to distinguish between real and imaginary. That was another topic of conversation during our excursions. You see, on our kid friendly radio station the disc jockey was interviewing a popular cartoon character. A disconnect occurred. I can only hope that this how it played out inside her brain. “This person who I have seen on the radio website is talking to a character from one of my favorite shows but those two people are different. Is Doofenshmirtz real?” Here’s my take on the sudden newfound humor and realizations – She doesn’t have to “think” so much about her environment because now she has clear sight. Her cortex can tend to higher level functioning like humor, real vs. imaginary, and hopefully all the other school related learning she has missed out on.

We attended the School Open house where we got to speak briefly to her teachers. They noticed that she has displayed more confidence since wearing her glasses. I can only imagine that school tasks are so much easier now that she can see clearly. In the past she was always a hesitant child, always unsure of her expectations. Now she is easily able to understand her expectations because she no longer has to concentrate on interpreting her blurry world. A confident child comes out.

And speaking of confidence…how many adults avoid public speaking? Well, we attended a Rehearsal Dinner during our visit to Hawaii. As expected the fathers of the intended gave a few remarks on the couple as did other friends and relations. When my brother-in-law’s niece, about the same age as Kathryn, gave a small speech, Kathryn looked at me and said, “I want to say something too!” This is in a room full of more than 50 strangers! My little Kathryn who clings to me like Velcro and she wanted to speak and she did! It was short and sweet and not quite loud enough, but it was her idea.

That was just the beginning. The following evening at the wedding Kathryn was off with her “cousins” and new friends, the harpist, servers, and disc jockey. I had very little interaction with her all evening. This is my shadow we are talking about. In the past at parties or other large events she stuck beside me for a good three-quarters of the evening, just about when the party was wrapping up and then she would feel comfortable enough to experience the event independently. Confidence.

Today we will attend a follow up appointment with our Developmental Optometrist, Dr. Collier. I am hoping to have many questions answered. Yeah right. Answers from Dr. Collier just lead to more research, leading to more questions. But it’s all good because I am learning what I can do to help my daughter. I’m hoping to acquire a Primitive Reflexes Program. Again I am still so confused by this area of brain development. Chances are her problems have resulted in an underdeveloped cerebellum. The cerebellum is responsible for receiving input from all the senses and then directing motor control.  Here is a well produced video from www.brainhighways.com about how children deal with cerebellum development delays.

Stopping at the School Open House

It’s Open House week. You know the time of year where teachers are scrambling to pull together a wide array of samples of their student's work to display to the school community. An opportunity to shine! The room is immaculate, tables and chairs neatly arranged, bookshelves dusted and tidied and bulletin boards popping with pictures and published works. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, loved ones all descend on the school to "oooh and ahhh" over their special child’s work. Lots of shining children’s faces. Lots of proud parents too.

We will be there. Yes, but behind our beaming faces will be the shadow of sorrow, the inability to resist comparison. We will recognize the scratchy script resembling that of a four year-old in a sea of six and seven year old perfection. We can point out the drawing with eyes slightly askew, body not symmetrical. Yes that is what we will see because we are parents of a learning disabled child. Open House is actually a time of dread. A slap in the face to bring us back to the reality that our child truly does not perform consistently with her peers. And sadly she will see it too.

But yes, we’ll be in that group of proud parents. Not because our child's project is perfection, not because she excels above the rest, but nontheless - our child’s face will shine. We will compliment, congratulate, hug and show our love and pride for our dear child.

This year we are proud of our daughter for being able to achieve all that she has. She can form recognizable letters even though the letter shapes her mind sees look nothing like the formations we know. Her illustrations are carefully colored. It's understandable that sometimes she doesn't color all the way to the line or slightly beyond the line because she probably sees 4 lines. From her perspective, she stayed within one of them. Everyone will see the pride we have in our daughter because she has adapted so well.

This year we will face our fate with understanding. Something we did not have last year. Now we understand that Kathryn’s fine motor problems are a result of lingering primitive reflexes. These reflexes are quickly inhibited, within the first year of life, as higher centers of the brain develop and voluntary responses dominate. Kathryn's reflexes display a mild response. She won't let them go and in doing so they are preventing her development.

Confusing, I know. I’m just beginning to wrap my mind around this one. It’s one of those red flags that keep coming up in many of her evaluations – the occupational therapist mentioned IT, the physical therapist mentioned IT, the developmental optometrist mentioned IT. And I still don’t get IT. But I will. And IT is one part of the puzzle to get her beyond the road to vision and on to Easy Street.

So the next time you are visiting your neighborhood school and you notice someone’s work that doesn’t quite look as polished as the next one, please think twice about that student. Try not to judge. Remember that beside that child are a set of parents whose hearts are breaking. They watch from afar as their child does the best that he or she can do. They struggle with the why. And they most likely are trying everything they know to do.

For more information on Primitive Reflexes and problems in school see Functional Healthcare Solutions.